


Stepping Forward

by fio



Category: Jurassic Park (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 11:56:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2811125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fio/pseuds/fio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after their disastrous visit to Isla Nublar, Lex tries to adjust to life as an undergrad college student and move on from the traumatic experience with middling results. Tim uses his celebrity to get away with wearing flip flops and T-shirts with terrible puns on them as a tour director at the American Museum of Natural History. Recovery is a work in progress, but they'll do it together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stepping Forward

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inmyriadbits](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmyriadbits/gifts).



Lex would be the first to admit that she had a problem with overworking. The way she had adapted to trauma—and trauma it was, no matter what strangers told her when they found out she was one of the island's survivors—was to bury herself in something controllable, familiar, and safe whenever things started feeling overwhelming. There had been no more run-ins with giant carnivorous monsters in the years since the In-Gen incident, but surprisingly simple things could throw her into panic mode, until someone forcibly dragged her away from her work and demanded she take a break. That duty most often fell to her roommate, who was at the moment trying to tear her laptop out of her hands.

"Oh my God, you haven't looked up from that thing in _ten hours_ , I'm confiscating this and dragging you out for some fresh air," Amanda insisted.

"Hey, I'm almost done with my research paper—"

"Which isn't due for another two weeks!"

"You're _supposed_ to finish early," Lex pointed out. Just because Amanda was the type to do things at the very last minute didn't mean she had to be. But her grip loosened, knowing Amanda had a point anyway and wasn't going to back down.

"Your paper will still be here, Lex," Amanda said, taking her laptop and sliding it into her backpack on the floor before using her foot to push it under the bed. "You can survive a few hours outdoors without a screen to stare at." She held out her hand for Lex who took it, letting herself be pulled onto her feet.

"Where are you dragging me, then?"

"Someplace with food. I'm sure you haven't eaten anything all day." Lex glanced down at her toes, admitting her guilt, and Amanda groaned, her head dropping down as she shook it in disbelief. "You amaze me, I can't believe I haven't walked in to find you've wasted away yet. But that settles it: unless you want to hit the town in your PJs, get dressed, because we're leaving in five minutes, even if I have to toss you over my shoulder and walk you out of here myself."

Lex obeyed, pulling on a few layers knowing December in New York was going to be brisk, and grabbed her purse before meeting Amanda at the door. The look on her face must not have been very enthusiastic because Amanda smiled and bumped their sides together in her affectionate way.

"Think you can handle a foray into the wilds of downtown?"

"I'll manage," Lex laughed, letting Amanda lock their arms together and walk them out the door and towards the elevators.

Their apartment building was close to a subway station, but once they reached the street they walked right past it, heading for a bus stop instead. Lex avoided taking it whenever possible and every one of her friends had learned early on not to force the issue, even if it was the fastest option to get somewhere. The subway tunnels and loud shrieks of subway car brakes echoing around them could paralyze her if she was unprepared, her entire body going cold as if she was trapped back in that kitchen, knowing she was being hunted and not sure if she was going to live. It was a different sound—nothing sounded quite like a Velociraptor—and not as strong, but it was reminiscent enough to throw her back in time and leave her too shaken to do much of anything for the rest of the day.

Lex listened as Amanda talked out their restaurant options once they got on the bus, knowing she needed no input to make a decision if she was allowed to ramble until she settled on the idea that sounded best to her. Today she was in the mood for Japanese food, which meant they were having Japanese food, whether Lex agreed or not. Some of her other friends found Amanda pushy, but Lex appreciated it. When she exhausted herself with work, she needed someone to make plans and drag her along so she could recuperate, and Amanda was always happy to do that for her.

"Our stop," Amanda nudged, and Lex followed her off the bus and down the next few blocks until they reached the restaurant. They found a table and made their orders—Lex was starting to feel the pangs of hunger at last and needed no help from Amanda to pick her meal—and after the waitress left, Amanda folded her arms across her chest, raised an eyebrow and asked, " _Well?_ "

"Hm?" Lex mumbled, feigning obliviousness.

"You probably just powered through every assignment you have left in the semester in half a day. Something's up."

Lex dragged her finger around the rim of her water glass, sighing loudly. She'd gotten the news the weekend before, and things were fine at first. But as the week dragged on, more and more phone calls came and soon she was diving in headfirst into her work, hoping to tune out the rest of the world and focus on the things she could keep from spiraling out of control while everything else unraveled.

"My mom's getting divorced again," she admitted eventually, "Which means she won't have my step-dad—I guess ex-step-dad now—to help her with the lawsuit with San Diego anymore, probably."

Amanda nodded, well aware of the legal case Lex's family had been dealing with for the last few years since her uncle's horrible idea had lead to a Tyrannosaur rampaging through a populated city. The bastard had the nerve to die during the whole mess and leave his sister with clean-up duty and damage control.

"She keeps calling me, and I want to help her, I _do_ , but I don't want to deal with the company. I don't know anything about business or law, I'm a CompSci major! Math, circuitry, coding— _that_ I can handle. I'd rather feed myself to a brachiosaurus than deal with company politics."

"Don't those only eat plants and stuff?" Amanda asked, tilting her head.

"So not the point here."

"Right. Okay, so tell her you can't help out right now."

"I mean, I _did_ but... I feel terrible. She's gotta deal with all the legal crap and the In-Gen board, and Grandpa's gone so it's just her now that she's getting divorced again. I want to be able to do something for her, because if I don't, who will? _Tim_?"

Amanda laughed at that, and Lex couldn't help but chuckle too. The idea of her little brother dressing professionally to walk into the In-Gen offices and talk about the company's stocks or what direction it should go in next was hilarious. Not that he wasn't smart enough to take over if he wanted to, but there was nothing less appealing to Tim than a suit and tie and old people in a conference room. He would choose to face off against a T-rex again over that, and anyone who spent three minutes listening to him talk could tell.

"Does Tim know?"

"About the divorce? Yeah, my mom said she talked to him. I should probably call him, though, check in on him, see what he thinks of the whole mess."

Tim lived close enough that visiting each other wasn't more than an hour drive and he had a habit of showing up at Lex's apartment without much warning just to hang out, but they both had busy schedules and sometimes went weeks without more than a few texts shared between the two of them. Lex hadn't talked to him since getting the first email and phone call from her mom with the news.

Their food arrived and the two dove in, hungry enough to forgo chatting for a while to focus on eating. When they were stuffed enough to talk again, Amanda let Lex change the subject to more casual topics, satisfied with how much she'd gotten Lex to admit for now. Lex was almost grateful her stress was family related this time. When her last relationship had fallen apart, she had gone ahead and completed two group projects all by herself until she was caught and forced outside, and Amanda had been _much_ more nosey then, not letting Lex off the hook until she'd gotten every detail.

Leaving the restaurant, Lex quieted again and let Amanda do most of the talking on their walk and bus ride home. She was already starting to feel a bit better, just telling someone about things. She was tempted to hop back on her laptop when they got back to the apartment, but Amanda was one step ahead of her.

"You are sitting down on this couch, watching TV and eating junk food for _at least_ an hour before you get back to that paper, Lex," Amanda insisted, throwing her arms out and blocking Lex's bedroom door.

"Fine! But you don't get to vote on what I put on."

"I'm okay with listening to the housewives of Beverly Hills scream at each other as long as I know that means you're out here vegging and not retreating back into your cave."

Lex stuck out her tongue as Amanda headed for her own room to give her some space and dropped down onto the sofa, grabbing for the remote. She kept the volume low and flipped through the channels, not finding anything of interest and making sure she avoided any action or horror movie that may have been on. The music and sound effects in those could reach frightening levels, even on a tiny TV, and she preferred not to risk a repeat of the one and only time she'd attempted to see a big blockbuster on the big screen. She settled on a documentary program about big cats—she much preferred ones about mammals to those about birds or reptiles—until the buzzing of her phone from inside her purse caught her attention.

Grabbing it, she smiled once she saw Tim's name on the screen.

"Hey, Timmy."

"Yo, Lex. You free tomorrow?"

"Um. I guess so? What's going on tomorrow?"

"Can you come to the museum?"

Lex frowned, her fist clenching and fingers digging into her palm. She didn't like to go there. Her experience with dinosaur skeletons was about as pleasant as her experience with the living, breathing kind.

"Can't you just come by my place instead? It's been a while."

"It's important! And I can't bring this to your place."

"I don't need to see any special fossils, Tim."

"It's not a fossil, I promise."

"I don't need to see your latest addition to your punny wardrobe, either."

Tim huffed into the phone at that, and Lex laughed. He was bizarrely proud of his collection of bad joke T-shirts, which he had somehow managed to convince the museum to let him wear. Being a minor celebrity for his interviews about their weekend on Isla Nublar allowed him to get away with a lot, Lex had learned. He'd accelerated through high school to graduate early, but passed on going to college and still got the chance to work as a speaker and tour director at the Museum of Natural History, using personal experience to spice up the tours he gave around the dinosaur hall.

"Lex, you gotta come. It's a surprise, but you'll love it, I swear," Tim said, sounding almost desperate to get her to agree. Lex was curious now what he could want her to come see so badly. She was still hesitant, but Tim never asked her to visit him at the museum when they both knew how on edge seeing the dinosaur exhibits made her, and now she was interested, wondering what he was so excited about.

"... Okay, I'll go."

" _Yes_!" Tim cheered, and Lex couldn't help but smile with how eager he sounded, "Excellent. Just come by anytime after noon, shoot me a text when you get there."

"Alright, alright. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Wait, Lex—"

"Hm?"

"How are you? Since talking to Mom, I mean."

Lex sighed, running a hand through her hair, though she was comforted by the concern she heard in Tim's question. "I'm okay. I wasn't close with George, or anything."

"Yeah, I know, me either. But I mean, I know Mom's probably been laying a lot of stuff on you. Did you pull a Lex and not step out of your room for a few days? Amanda's supposed to do my job and make sure you at least eat and see some light when I'm not there to do it myself."

"Very funny," Lex said, trying to sound annoyed and failing. It was hard to be indignant when his guess was right on the money. "We just got back. I've been officially fed and forced to breathe fresh air."

"And you survived? It's a miracle!" Tim laughed.

They chatted for a while after that, catching up on the couple of weeks they'd gone without seeing or calling each other. They talked about their mom, the divorce, the phone calls, the latest updates from the lawyers, all the draining, exhausting drama that had driven Lex into _Lex Mode_ , as Tim so often called it. As they said their goodbyes, with one last reassurance that Lex would show up tomorrow, she felt sleepy almost immediately. Her long day of uninterrupted work and the relief of getting things off her chest with both Amanda and Tim had the last of her energy running out.

With a quick promise to Amanda that she was going back into her room to sleep, not to do anymore work, Lex slipped back into her pajamas and fell asleep.

***

Lex was sometimes jealous of how easily Tim managed to deal with what happened to them on the island. He'd gone through the same things she had, and even went through _worse_ than her, but his passion hadn't been doused by their terrifying run ins with the beasts, and in fact had exploded since. But while she felt a bit envious, more than anything she was happy that what he'd loved so fiercely hadn't been ruined for him.

It took most of the morning before she headed out, but Lex prepared for her visit to the museum, reassuring herself that she wouldn't have to go near any of the displays, and just being around them wouldn't prompt a group of Velociraptors to appear and start chasing her, either. By the time she arrived and sent Tim a text letting him know, it was just after noon.

Though she was feeling confident, she waited outside for Tim to find her. She spotted him jogging out the front doors and waved him down, smiling when he reached her and engulfed her in a tight hug. He was only an inch or two taller than her now, and if she wore boots with a heel she could surpass him again, but he was still young enough to have some growing left to do, and their father had been quite tall.

When he stepped back, Lex glanced at his shirt—today it was a visual thesaurus pun—and snorted as she rolled her eyes.

"Hey now, Lex, we haven't seen each other in a few weeks and this is the greeting I get?" Tim joked.

"How many shirts with the same old joke on them do you have? Where do you even find these?"

"I have my sources," he said, which Lex figured somewhere on the internet with a sense of humor as painful as Tim's. "Anyway, c'mon, let's head inside, I grabbed a ticket for you already."

Lex took a deep breath and started up the front steps, ready to keep her eyes down on the floor if she started to feel overwhelmed. Inside, the looming displays stood just as she remembered them, huge and impressive, and Tim pulled her by the hand past them quickly. The crowd was light as they headed through various exhibits, the beginning of lunch time meaning tours from the morning were clearing out and new guests weren't arriving yet. Lex wasn't sure where he was so eager to take her, and was about to ask when he came to a stop outside one of the special exhibition gallery entrances. Standing there, looking much older and worn down than the last time she'd seen him, was Dr. Alan Grant.

"Oh my God. Timmy, it's—"

"I know! He's here as a speaker on a special exhibit, he doesn't have a lot of downtime, but I had to make sure you got a chance to see him."

"Dr. Grant!" she called, jogging towards him, and he turned and beamed when he saw the two coming his way. She ran right into a hug, making him stumble backwards a few steps as he laughed and hugged her back.

"Hey, Lex. It's been a while since I saw you last."

"I've missed you," she smiled up at him, feeling warm and reassured when he put a hand to her shoulder.

"Well I've got a break for lunch before I have to get back, care to sit down somewhere for a little while?" he suggested, and Tim and Lex nodded, following him to one of the cafes.

Lex and Dr. Grant exchanged emails every so often, though it had been a while since the last time they talked, but it was a rare treat to get to see him in person. He teased her for not telling him about how big Tim had gotten, and Tim groaned at them both for treating him like he was still a little kid.

"Maybe we'll stop when you actually wear closed-toed shoes and a nice dress shirt for work," Lex pointed out, and he decided to not complain after that.

They each grabbed some food and talked about what they'd been busy with lately—Lex about her school, Tim with his latest stories of funny tourists he'd escorted through the museum, and Dr. Grant about his lecture tour.

"Most of what I get asked is about the island, or San Diego. _Still_ , a decade later," he said, shaking his head. Lex had always appreciated how Dr. Grant felt about their time on Isla Nublar, and admired how he still managed to work in the field of digging for dinosaurs when he refused to have anything to do with the living versions after the experience.

"You can direct people my way, Dr. Grant, I'm more than happy to talk about that stuff," Tim offered, making him laugh.

"I'll be sure to do that, Tim. You're just about the only one who wants to."

"What's the point of getting chased by a Velociraptor if you can't tell people about it?" He was trying to make a joke, but neither Lex nor Dr. Grant laughed at that, and when the table fell silent he mumbled in apology.

"It's fine, Timmy," Lex said, bumping their shoulders together. She appreciated his light-hearted take on the whole thing, most of the time. But memories of raptors surrounding them, chasing them down relentlessly, just wasn't something she could get a laugh out of.

"Not everyone's as resilient as you," Dr. Grant said, "But that's why we're glad to have you, to keep the rest of us from dwelling on that kind of thing."

They finished up their lunch, Tim a bit quieter than usual in his embarrassment, and said their goodbyes as Dr. Grant had to return to the exhibit. He promised to send Lex another email soon, and they parted with one last hug.

"Kind of wild, huh?" Tim asked as they walked slowly back through the museum.

Lex looked at him, surprised at the wistfulness to his voice. "What is?"

"It's been a whole decade. But I remember everything like it just happened, like we stepped off that helicopter this morning and it's all fresh and clear, right there in my memory."

Tim rarely talked about the island without being flippant, sounding so detached to the actual events they went through, and Lex wondered if seeing Dr. Grant reminded him of how it had felt to be there, trapped and terrified.

"I try to pretend it never happened. The rest of my brain doesn't seem to want to let me, though," Lex admitted.

Tim took her hand and the two walked back towards the main entrance where the giant fossil displays still stood. Lex breathed in slowly, steeling herself to walk past them, but as they made their way towards the doors, she found herself stopping, right in front of the Tyrannosaurus.

"Lex?" Tim asked, surprised that she would look right at it.

"I wish I could forget about the real ones," she said, seeing for a moment an eye looking right back at her in the empty skull above her, "I wish I could look at these bones and not wonder how long it'll be until I stop worrying they'd come to life—another decade? Two? Maybe it'll take the rest of my life."

He squeezed her hand, tugging her gently until she was walking again, the two of them stepping back outside.

"Until you do, I'll be right here with you, Lex."

She smiled down at her feet as they climbed down the steps, grateful for her brother, and Amanda, and Dr. Grant, all of them helping her put back the pieces of the jumbled puzzle that was her life.


End file.
